Chapter 2｜二浪目の冬
The Winter of My Second Ronin Year
Essay Series: 滑り止めに行った僕の4年間
Theme: Pressure, isolation, and the small warmth of continuing.
「進んでる。昨日より、ほんの1ミリでも」
Read and Listen
In this chapter, the narrator looks back on the winter of his second year as a ronin student. Read the original Japanese, listen to Tatsu-san’s voice, and use the player to follow the chapter line by line.
Tip: First, listen once without stopping. Then turn on furigana or video translation when you want more support.
データを読み込んでいます…
Read the Essay in English
This version is for readers who want to first enjoy the chapter as a story. It is not a word-for-word translation.
The winter of my second year as a ronin student was always quiet.
Every morning, when I sat at my desk, something deep in my chest became a little heavier. I would open my workbook, but the letters seemed to pass in front of my eyes without staying anywhere. I studied, erased, rewrote, and turned the page again. Still, I often felt as if nothing remained inside me.
I turned off my phone. I stopped looking at social media. I tried not to hear the voices of people who were already moving forward. I told myself that I could not stop. I told myself that if I stopped here, everything would really be over.
At night, I would walk outside alone. The air was cold enough to hurt my face, but that coldness was strangely honest. Only the wind reminded me that I was still here.
“I’m moving forward. Even if it’s only one millimeter more than yesterday.”
That small sentence was not hope yet. But it was enough to keep me from disappearing.
Study Japanese
This section helps you understand the chapter as Japanese learning material. Use it after reading or listening once.
Chapter Snapshot
Easy Japanese Summary
主人公は、二浪目の冬を思い出しています。毎日、問題集に向かいますが、勉強しても頭に残らないように感じています。夜になると、ひとりで外を歩き、冷たい風を感じながら、「自分はまだここにいる」と思います。
English Summary
The narrator remembers the winter of his second year studying for entrance exams. Each day feels heavy, and even when he studies, nothing seems to stay in his mind. He turns off his phone and distances himself from others. At night, he walks alone outside, and the cold wind becomes a small reminder that he is still here.
Key Vocabulary
| 日本語 | 読み | Meaning | Tatsu’s Reading Insight |
|---|---|---|---|
| 二浪 | にろう | second year as a ronin student | This word carries repeated effort, pressure, and the fear of falling behind others. |
| 問題集 | もんだいしゅう | workbook / problem book | In this chapter, the workbook is not just a study tool. It becomes a symbol of pressure. |
| 向き合う | むきあう | to face / confront | This word suggests facing something directly, even when it feels heavy. |
| 胸の奥 | むねのおく | deep in one’s chest | A common emotional location in Japanese. It makes the feeling physical and internal. |
| 空回りする | からまわりする | to spin one’s wheels | This describes effort that continues but does not seem to produce results. |
| 立ち止まる | たちどまる | to stop / pause | Here, stopping feels dangerous because the narrator believes he must keep moving. |
| 救い | すくい | relief / salvation | A small thing that helps someone endure. Here, simple physical sensations can become relief. |
| ほんの1ミリでも | ほんのいちミリでも | even just one millimeter | This phrase makes progress tiny, but still meaningful. |
Culture & Context Notes
| Topic | What learners should know | Why it matters in this chapter |
|---|---|---|
| Ronin students | In Japan, a student who studies another year after failing entrance exams is often called a ronin. | This helps explain why the narrator feels that time itself has become pressure. |
| Cutting off SNS | During exam preparation, some students reduce social media to avoid distraction and comparison. | For the narrator, this is not only discipline. It also shows fear and isolation. |
| Night walks | Walking alone at night can become a way to escape pressure without fully stopping. | The walk gives the narrator a small physical proof that he is still alive and moving. |
Language Notes
| Expression | Meaning | Nuance | Mini Example |
|---|---|---|---|
| 〜たびに | every time… | Used for repeated experiences. It often carries emotional accumulation. | 朝起きるたびに、不安になった。 |
| 〜ようだった | it felt like… / it seemed as if… | Useful for turning emotion into an image. | 胸の奥に石が沈んでいくようだった。 |
| 〜気がする | I feel like… | Softer than a direct statement. It expresses subjective perception. | 何も残っていない気がした。 |
| 〜てはいけない | must not… | Can show a strong internal rule or self-pressure. | 休んではいけないと思っていた。 |
| 〜だけが救いだった | only … was a relief | Shows that one small thing helped someone endure. | 夜の散歩だけが救いだった。 |
Say It Yourself
Use the chapter’s language to describe your own feeling. You can answer in Japanese only, or write Japanese first and then English.
| Pattern | How to use it | Example from your life |
|---|---|---|
| 〜たびに、… | Use this when the same feeling comes back repeatedly. | スマホを見るたびに、少し不安になった。 |
| 〜ような気がした。 | Use this to describe a subjective feeling gently. | みんなに置いていかれるような気がした。 |
| 〜だけが救いだった。 | Use this when one small thing helped you endure. | 夜の散歩だけが救いだった。 |
| ほんの少しでも、… | Use this when small progress still matters. | ほんの少しでも、前に進みたい。 |
Comprehension Check
Click each button to see the answer and explanation.
各ボタンをクリックすると、英語と日本語の解答・解説を確認できます。
Q1. What details show that the narrator’s study life felt heavy?
Q1. 主人公の勉強生活が重く感じられていたことは、どのような描写から分かりますか。
Answer: Details such as sitting at the desk every morning, opening the workbook, and feeling that nothing stayed in his mind show the heaviness of his study life.
日本語の解答: 毎朝机に向かうこと、問題集を開いても文字だけが通りすぎるように感じること、何も頭に残っていない気がすることから、勉強生活の重さが伝わります。
Explanation: The chapter does not simply say “studying was hard.” It uses repeated actions and physical feelings to show pressure.
解説: 「勉強が大変だった」と直接言うのではなく、毎日の動作や身体感覚を通して、重さや圧迫感を表しています。
Q2. Why did he turn off his phone and reduce contact with others?
Q2. なぜ主人公はスマホを切ったり、人との連絡を減らしたりしたのでしょうか。
Answer: He wanted to avoid distraction, but he also wanted to protect himself from comparison and from the painful feeling that others were moving forward.
日本語の解答: 集中するためだけでなく、他人と比べて苦しくなることや、周りだけが前に進んでいるように感じることから自分を守るためです。
Explanation: Turning off the phone is not only discipline. In this chapter, it also shows fear, isolation, and self-protection.
解説: スマホを切ることは、単なる努力や自己管理ではありません。この章では、不安や孤独、自分を守ろうとする気持ちも表しています。
Q3. What does the cold wind give him during his night walk?
Q3. 夜の散歩の中で、冷たい風は主人公に何を与えていますか。
Answer: The cold wind gives him a real physical feeling. It reminds him that he is still here and still alive.
日本語の解答: 冷たい風は、主人公に現実の身体感覚を与えています。そして、自分がまだここにいて、まだ生きていることを思い出させています。
Explanation: When his mind feels unclear, the cold wind becomes something honest and concrete. It works almost like a small proof of existence.
解説: 心の中がぼんやりしているとき、冷たい風ははっきりした現実の感覚になります。ここでは、自分が存在していることを確かめる小さな証拠のように働いています。
Q4. Why is “one millimeter” meaningful in this chapter?
Q4. この章で「1ミリ」という表現が大切なのはなぜですか。
Answer: “One millimeter” shows that progress can be extremely small, but still meaningful enough to keep someone going.
日本語の解答: 「1ミリ」は、進歩がとても小さくても、それでも前に進む理由になり得ることを表しています。
Explanation: The phrase does not create dramatic hope. Instead, it gives the narrator a tiny but realistic way to continue.
解説: この表現は、大きな希望を表しているわけではありません。むしろ、主人公がなんとか続けるための、小さく現実的な支えになっています。
Reflection Prompt
Reflect in English, Japanese, or both.
Have you ever continued something even when you could not feel clear progress?
You may begin like this:
- 私は、___を続けていたとき、___ような気がしました。
- そのとき、___だけが救いでした。
- ほんの少しでも、___と思っていました。
- 今ふり返ると、あの時間は___だったと思います。
Optional deeper prompt:
What helps you keep going when progress is too small to see?